mozzer
Know your fucking role they say, as they die fighting beauty.
newImage lineart by artgerm: www.artgerm.deviantart.com
Think of her with longer hair and colored tan with dark hair, and you get me. Since I have no pictures of myself on my pc (i'd get shot at myspace- oh, heaven forbid) I sock.
Think of her with longer hair and colored tan with dark hair, and you get me. Since I have no pictures of myself on my pc (i'd get shot at myspace- oh, heaven forbid) I sock.
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No one will read this but
I need to get it out. In all . . . all-ness, it's really nothing that no one has never heard about. I have a boyfriend who really likes me (loves me? hah, he's only 14, i've only loved once) but I'd rather go out with my best friend, who is a girl (i'm bi) in a trembling relationship with another girl, who has been my good friend since the 6th grade.
And my best friend wants me to go talk to her girlfriend and ask questions like "Do you still wanna be with me?" and all that bullshite. I lied to my best friend (we'll call her Carol) when she asked if I liked her (she likes me even though she's in a relationship with, who we will call, Warhol and now everyone thinks i dont have feelings for carol when i do and it fucks me over hard and dry in the mental ass everyday)
And all I said was "Oh. But I like Bob," (for sake of keeping his real name private) but really, I could split up with Bob now and feel nothing more about it other than regretting ever being with him and not liking him to begin with- I realized this recently that I never liked him- but I am his first girlfriend, his second kiss.
I am happy and sad to say that I got some information from Bob's (and my) best friend, [Paul] that even though Bob likes me more than he did, he's learned more about me, therefore he likes me less, but at the same time likes me more, just not in the same way. (this sounds confusing only because we were going by a swap-info "build me up buttercup" song timer and i couldnt get enough out of the four-eyes).
Although this is a chance that Bob will find his own way into nulling our relationship, it's not likely because he's a noob, and i'm pants-wearer relationship-wise. Bob did, however, talk to Warhol and said that it "cost him." He said that he meant it made hime more thoughtful (he says: problems that make us people) I think it's bullshite.
Not to mention, during a party on Sunday (at voro's with the hottest bartenders- too bad i'm 14 and they're over 21) was when the problem really arose when me and Carol (i almost said a real name) started getting too lovey dovey with each other and Warhol got upset. I get lovey with everyone, but Carol likes me a lot, and Warhol knows this. I didn't even get lovey with Carol because I liked her, simply because it was nice. Bad idea.
That's not the whole problem though, the problem is that Warhol thinks that Carol is "perfect" (carol denies of course) and that she could get whoever she wanted, while Warhol couldn't. And since I announced my bisexuality (2 weeks ago) Carol's been a lot more lovey with me. Warhol also knows that Carol likes me (as i think i stated before), and thought that I liked Carol, so Warhol thought that Carol would dump Warhol for me (not even taking in the fact that i have a boyfriend- surprisingly, warhol uses bob as a confidante the way i do to paul).
The whole time typing this, I felt like drawing ecology charts and food webs. Jesus suffering fuck. I feel like sucha fucking cunt right now. I really don't like life, and I wish I could go back to grade school (suicide is not an option for me yet) "I miss not knowing certain things."
Oh, and in suggested tags, it says Bob likes drugs. But does not. He chills off of Bob Dylan, Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix.
And I'd go back, reread, and edit but it's too fucking long and too sodding confusing for me to care about anything other than the fact that I feel so much better. Cuntly.
And more: To the boy blacklist09 . . hi. You're the reason I'm on this sodding thing (deviantart comment about 1984. yeah) It's not bad, in fact, I love you a little for it, gorgeous (not in reference to your pic though- ouch, sorry)
And my best friend wants me to go talk to her girlfriend and ask questions like "Do you still wanna be with me?" and all that bullshite. I lied to my best friend (we'll call her Carol) when she asked if I liked her (she likes me even though she's in a relationship with, who we will call, Warhol and now everyone thinks i dont have feelings for carol when i do and it fucks me over hard and dry in the mental ass everyday)
And all I said was "Oh. But I like Bob," (for sake of keeping his real name private) but really, I could split up with Bob now and feel nothing more about it other than regretting ever being with him and not liking him to begin with- I realized this recently that I never liked him- but I am his first girlfriend, his second kiss.
I am happy and sad to say that I got some information from Bob's (and my) best friend, [Paul] that even though Bob likes me more than he did, he's learned more about me, therefore he likes me less, but at the same time likes me more, just not in the same way. (this sounds confusing only because we were going by a swap-info "build me up buttercup" song timer and i couldnt get enough out of the four-eyes).
Although this is a chance that Bob will find his own way into nulling our relationship, it's not likely because he's a noob, and i'm pants-wearer relationship-wise. Bob did, however, talk to Warhol and said that it "cost him." He said that he meant it made hime more thoughtful (he says: problems that make us people) I think it's bullshite.
Not to mention, during a party on Sunday (at voro's with the hottest bartenders- too bad i'm 14 and they're over 21) was when the problem really arose when me and Carol (i almost said a real name) started getting too lovey dovey with each other and Warhol got upset. I get lovey with everyone, but Carol likes me a lot, and Warhol knows this. I didn't even get lovey with Carol because I liked her, simply because it was nice. Bad idea.
That's not the whole problem though, the problem is that Warhol thinks that Carol is "perfect" (carol denies of course) and that she could get whoever she wanted, while Warhol couldn't. And since I announced my bisexuality (2 weeks ago) Carol's been a lot more lovey with me. Warhol also knows that Carol likes me (as i think i stated before), and thought that I liked Carol, so Warhol thought that Carol would dump Warhol for me (not even taking in the fact that i have a boyfriend- surprisingly, warhol uses bob as a confidante the way i do to paul).
The whole time typing this, I felt like drawing ecology charts and food webs. Jesus suffering fuck. I feel like sucha fucking cunt right now. I really don't like life, and I wish I could go back to grade school (suicide is not an option for me yet) "I miss not knowing certain things."
Oh, and in suggested tags, it says Bob likes drugs. But does not. He chills off of Bob Dylan, Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix.
And I'd go back, reread, and edit but it's too fucking long and too sodding confusing for me to care about anything other than the fact that I feel so much better. Cuntly.
And more: To the boy blacklist09 . . hi. You're the reason I'm on this sodding thing (deviantart comment about 1984. yeah) It's not bad, in fact, I love you a little for it, gorgeous (not in reference to your pic though- ouch, sorry)
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